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8 July

Fanny Sura8 July, 202013 July, 2020Leave a comment

July 8, 2020

I hope I get to spend some time in the ocean on this trip. This pic is from Aruba, Nov 2019

Good evening! I just finished packing my backpack and I feel sort of ready for our trip tomorrow. We have to leave the apartment around 5am, so I have to go to bed soon. It will probably be pretty busy days down in Florida, we are going back already on Saturday, so we’ll see how much I update here. And why are going? Well, we are going to look at a house🙂 Yup, we are going all the way down to Florida for two days to look at a house. I am excited and nervous. We have to stop in Charlotte, NC, on the way there which sucks, it will be a long day tomorrow.

Ok, I am going to finish my oatmeal now and then go to bed. I haven’t been sleeping that well the past couple weeks so fingers crossed I get a good night sleep before the alarm goes off sometime after 4am.

Have an awesome day!

In Partial Molar Pregnancy

Liberation

Fanny Sura6 July, 20206 July, 2020Leave a comment

July 6, 2020

I knew that the blood test I did on June 9 was going to be last one, I could feel it. I had a scheduled appointment so I got in before everybody else, and to my surprise, it was the nurse who I saw almost every week last year. She quit her job in January because she got a new one in NJ, but for some reason she decided to come in this day and help out. I was so happy to see her and I got a proper goodbye which I felt in January that I didn’t. This felt like a closure. She had to be there for my very last test.
My doctor had told me that I needed to do 12 months of HCG tests after I hit 0 which was in November, and when the whole virus thing locked down our world I didn’t even care if I had to do these blood tests for the rest of the year or not. But then, because of this strong feeling that was bubbling inside when I went in for my test on June 9, I wasn’t just hopeful that I would be done after my exam last Monday, I knew.

I have had one week of feeling free. It’s liberating! No more thinking about that I have a test coming up, no more worries if the level would go back up – well, I guess it still can but it’s been long enough that I will just let it go now – no more feeling of being a prisoner in my own body. I can finally move on, I can put this failed pregnancy to rest, it is now part of the past. I moved on from the miscarriage pretty quickly, I didn’t need to grieve something that wasn’t meant to be, but the PMP case that turned into a complete mystery has been exhausting to deal with. My brain and body need to rest now, they have been on overdrive for such a long time.

There was clearly something I needed to learn, things to work through, everything happens for a reason. I am positive that I have so much more to learn and experience, but this chapter is now closed and you have no idea how at peace I feel today. It has only been a week and I feel like a new person 😀

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July 4th

Fanny Sura4 July, 2020Leave a comment

4th of July, 2020

On Thursday we celebrated with champagne that I/we are done with PMP!
And oatmeal raisin cookies as a birthday treat for me (it’s my favorite!)

First I’d like to thank everyone for the nice messages I got on my birthday! I had a lovely day! We ordered food from a restaurant downtown, had our own little dance party on the terrace, watched some tv at night, very easy breezy….or, not so breezy haha, it was the hottest and stickiest day so far this year 😀

We ordered fried pickles. I also got a veggie burger (w. bacon) and sweet potato fries, YUM!

And yesterday we didn’t do much. It kinda felt like it does on January 1st, just a day after, a day in between, today is when everything starts up again. Because a birthday can feel sort of like a renewal, you celebrate that you’ve lived another year, celebrate that you get to enter a new year and you can start fresh. At least that’s how it felt for me this year. I could finally leave one of the toughest years behind, move on from something I never asked for but was meant to go through in order to learn a few new things. It’s refreshing:)
I got some stuff done yesterday, but it was a quite relaxing day. Also, I didn’t know that Jim was going to be off work all day (because today’s holiday is on a Saturday), so that was a nice surprise:)

Today we have no plans as usual, haha. I took steaks out of the freezer, we are going to skype with my parents at noon and then it’s kinda up to Jimmy what we’ll do cause celebrating Americas day is what he has grown up with, just like I’m in charge of what we do on Midsommar 😀
Happy 4th!

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🎈Celebration Week🎈

Fanny Sura2 July, 2020Leave a comment

July 2, 2020

This week is full of celebrations 🎈

A couple of weeks ago I went in for another blood test for my PMP. It showed the same number as in May which was different than my previous ones but luckily nothing to be concerned about. But, it has been a full year since I started seeing my oncologist and one year since my 2nd surgery, so I had to go in for an exam on Monday. I’ve been so excited and nervous about this appointment. Was this just a standard exam, or could it possibly be the end of this shitty mystery story? And guess what…

I AM FINALLY CLEARED!

It’s been 18 months of tests and worries since my miscarriage and first surgery (21 months since this story began), and now I’m done!
I told my doctor that I wish she could see how big my smile was under the face mask. This was the absolute best birthday gift I’ve ever got!

Oh, and ya,…Today is MY BIRTHDAY!
I have lived, learned and grown for another year. How awesome! It has definitely been the most challenging year of my life, but oh boy I have gained so much trust and knowledge along the way. And I have never felt so loved and supported by people I know and don’t know. Thank you to every single one of you who read this!

And on Saturday it’s 4th of July so the party goes on all week.
Now, lets open those champagne bottles and celebrate! Wohoo! Everything is awesome!

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Leaving 33

Fanny Sura1 July, 2020Leave a comment

July 1, 2020

I’m having a great birthday week! (yes, I get a full week haha) I feel amazing and everything seems awesome:)
This morning Thor woke us up at 5:45 am. Sometime after 6, I got up and took him out. Normally Thor doesn’t allow me to be the one taking him out for the first potty break (cause he is a daddy’s boy) but today it was apparently ok. I love getting up early and go for a walk, it’s so nice and quiet outside at that time.
Back home I fed the little monster (who after that ran to the bedroom to fall back to sleep with daddy) and I made myself some coffee that I enjoyed with a book on the couch.
Around 8am, I brought a full cup of coffee upstairs and started my laptop that I had set up in the Fanny Room. Soon I got a video call from my sister. I had promised to teach her a few things and guide her through a workout session so that she can get her body strong again after her pregnancy. It’s definitely different to teach online but I enjoyed it:)
After that, I haven’t really done that much today. Read a little more, went on walks with mister fluff, prepared dinner and now I think we are going to watch another episode of Dark season 3.
And tomorrow is my birthday 😀

Thor looks so good in his new haircut (last week)
She did such an amazing job this time, he’s soft like a little puppy again