trying to not think about it

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October 8, 2019

I started to get quite nervous yesterday. These past three weeks of not having to go in for weekly blood tests have been kinda relaxing and my mind could get a break. But yesterday I couldn’t help thinking about it since I kinda had to because I had an acupuncture appointment which focuses on my case. 
Before my appointment, I sat on the couch with closed eyes trying to focus on my breathing. On my way over to the hospital (where my acupuncture is, 3 minutes from our apartment), I listened to calm and relaxing music and walked pretty slow. All that preparation must have done something cause my blood pressure was way down (last time I came in quite stressed and blood pressure was higher than my normal..which is normally kinda low). It was a shorter session in a different room with big windows yesterday. Somehow I still ended up super relaxed and could put focus inwards instead of the light from the windows or the noise in the hallway outside. 
She told me to keep the ear seeds til this morning, so I did, two on each ear. I took them off this morning before I jumped into the shower and got ready for my scheduled blood test at 6:45 am, my first monthly test. A quick visit, bought coffee next door and met J and T in the park by our apt. I am nervous for my result. It can be 7-8 like the past few months, or it can be 20, or it can be 2, or 100, or 0. Now I have to try to not think about this today cause there’s nothing I can do anyway, and then just wait for my doctor to call me tomorrow.
Thor woke up around 3am for whatever reason and after that I couldn’t fall back to sleep so I might be very tired later today. But I’m gonna try to keep busy so I don’t have to focus on my levels. 

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