It’s been a whole year since we woke up in this apartment in Stamford! One year, I can’t really believe it. It sure doesn’t feel that long.
Warning for long blog post:)

On March 18th last year, we packed our brand new car with the most valuable things, had our little fluffbutt freaking out about the movers getting everything else out of the apartment and soon we were leaving our lives on Manhattan and drove to Connecticut. I was both excited and terrified (read my blog post HERE). Looking back at this past year, I can honestly say that it has not been what I had imagined. At all. It does not feel like a whole year for the reason that I haven’t done much and I think I got more stuck than I was before cause a lot of stuff I pictured and answers to the questions I had (read my “6 months in Stamford” blog post HERE) didn’t turn out the way I hoped. I might not have been very clear with myself on what I hoped either though. But still.

Living in Stamford….well,.. I found wonderful neighbors that I can now call friends who Thor absolutely adores. We have a gym in our building. There are yoga studios nearby. My husband seems very happy here. Our apartment is amazing. I have everything I need (and don’t need) and I’m really spoiled. That should be enough right? So why am I still struggling? 

Winter is always a challenging time for me. I really can’t deal with cold weather. I have been dreaming of warm weather since I was about 12 and wanted to move out of my parents home and live on my own. I am always cold, even in the summer and I really truly hate snow. I love to be outside. I love love love going for long walks (that’s part why we got a dog), but in the winter, I just get depressed after a few minutes outside in the cold. I’m like a bear. I prefer to stay at home, inside, alone, all winter long and wait for spring. 

Location shouldn’t matter though. You can’t blame where you live for things not going your way. You can’t blame weather. As an artist I should be able to work anywhere. Get inspired or use the frustration for creating my art no matter location of my home. But, I’m still dreaming. Probably dreaming a little too much and I’m sure that my husband is tired of me now.
But Stamford isn’t a place I would love to settle down. Not even a little. Not even anywhere close. 

I don’t know what the meaning of this post was. It seems to have turned out to be just random blabber. But that’s also how it is inside my head, blabber, unnecessary noise and too many dreams. This is why I don’t update this blog as often as I would like to, cause I have days, like today, that isn’t as positive as other days and my head is exploding with blabber.
This is life. This is me. This is Fanny.