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They are preparing the US Women Soccer parade right outside our door now. I had to take Thor out for potty in the middle of the night and there was a lot of police cars already then. T has an upset stomach today and didn’t wanna walk much this morning, which in one was good cause you have to ask the police to open the gates to let you through. It all starts at 11 so I might go out then to watch it.  
Anyway, yesterday my New York State ID came in the mail. My picture actually turned out ok, yay! Feels weird to see my face on a NY State ID, an ID in America. I have a greencard (and I am now in process of getting a new one), but this feels different. This one I will walk around with and show people. It doesn’t say that I’m from another country, that I’m Swedish on it and I think that is the weird part.
But, I also feel bad for being excited about things like an ID, greencard, changing my name, changing address to another country etc. because I am just another immigrant here. Me and my husband have to go through so much crap to prove that we really love each other. In one way I don’t care about an ID, it’s just card with my face and name on it, but when I opened the envelope yesterday I felt one step closer to my husband. Weird, but true. The ID doesn’t do anything for our papers or our marriage but it feels real somehow.

De forbereder paraden for US Damlandslag i Fotboll precis utanfor var dorr just nu. Jag var tvungen att ta Thor ut for potty mitt i natten och det var redan massor av polis bilar ute da. T har en orolig mage idag och ville inte ga sa mycket imorse, vilket var ratt bra for man maste fraga poliserna om att oppna grindar for att ga igenom. Det hela borjar klockan 11 sa jag kanske gar ut och kollar pa det.
Iaf, igar kom mitt New York State ID med posten. Min bild blev faktiskt ok, yay! Kanns konstigt att se mitt ansikte pa ett NY State ID, ett ID i Amerika. Jag har ett greencard (och jag ar nu i process att fa ett nytt), men detta kanns annorlunda. Detta kan jag ga runt med och visa folk. Det star inte att jag ar fran ett annat land, att jag ar svensk pa det och jag tror att det ar darfor det kanns konstigt.
Men, det kanns inte heller bra att bli glad over en sadan sak som ett ID, greencard, byte av mitt namn, byte av adress till ett annat land etc. for jag ar bara en till immigrant har. Jag och min man behover ga igenom sa mycket skit for att bevisa att vi verkligen alskar varandra. Pa ett satt struntar jag i ett ID, det ar bara ett kort med mitt ansikte och namn pa, men nar jag oppnade kuvertet igar kande jag mig ett steg narmare min man. Konstigt, men sant. Detta ID gor inget for vara papper eller vart aktenskap men det kanns som pa riktigt.  

Quiet. Not even the sound from the fridge. A bus goes by. Quiet. 
I take a zip of my herbal tea and a small bite of my tiny chocolate ball, another zip of my tea. 
The sky is getting darker. I am waiting for the rain. My puppy is sleeping in the window. 
Another bus. Next to me on the couch I have a book.
I want to read but this moment is too precious and I want to enjoy it. 
I am sure there are more sounds outside, this is New York after all, but I can’t hear it. 
I focus on my breath. Sending thoughts to my left shoulder to help the pain to go away. 
Inhale. Exhale. 

> This was yesterday afternoon. It was a peaceful moment and I wanted to stay in it. Instead of reading my book, I just continued to drink my tea taking everything in. It didn’t last long though. Soon we had the neighbors twin babies screaming and running in the hallway and Thor woke up and started to bark at them. Outside the window there was a child and mother yelling at each other and I started to hear cars honking. More and more sounds came to my attention. 
So to stay in that moment I just had, I wrote down what I had noticed (the text above) and I felt calm again. It felt like I experienced it again. And then I read what I just wrote and I could continue to be in that moment. 
A small short moment like this is not something a lot of people let themselves have. Isn’t that weird? We sleep, we eat, we work and maybe we take time to work out but how often do we just sit and notice what is going on around us? Even if it’s just a short moment noticing a bus go by outside the window, it is still important to notice. It’s like a small version of meditation. Being present.
We don’t need to be active all the time. We don’t need to listen to music when it’s quiet. We don’t need to check instagram every time we get bored or have a few minutes over. Instead we need to focus on our breath and fill our bodies with good thoughts. Even if it only lasts for 5 minutes.
Do you have 5 minutes today to focus on your breath? 

It’s very humid in New York now. Went out in shorts and long sleeve this morning on our morning walk and I sweat like a pig. There is rain in the air and then it’s always so sticky here. 
Yesterday came a late birthday gift from my husband. A stylish blue Adidas bag that apparently you can’t find in the USA so it got sent from Spain. I thought only a week ago that I would need a shoulder bag that I can carry my computer in. Jim must have read my thoughts before I even knew I had them, haha. This bag will be perfect for workout clothes or to travel with. 
Last weekend we bought new workout shoes too. I bought mine from the kids section, hahah. They had a lot nicer looking shoes than the adult section and my feet are so tiny that it doesn’t matter what section I buy from. 

Nu ar det varmt och fuktigt i New York. Gick ut i shorts och langarmat imorse pa var morgonpromenad och jag svettades som en gris. Det ligger regn i luften och da blir det alltid sa klibbigt har. 
Igar kom en forsenad fodelsedagspresent fran min man. En snygg bla Adidas vaska som tydligen inte finns att fa tag i USA utan den blev skickad fran Spanien. Jag tankte for bara en vecka sen att jag skulle behova en axelbandsvaska som jag kan bara min dator i. Jim maste ha last mina tankar innan jag ens visste att jag hade dem, haha. Den har vaskan blir perfekt att ha traingsklader i eller att resa med. 
Forra helgen var vi och kopte nya traningsskor ocksa. Jag kopte mina pa barnavdelningen, hahah. De hade mycket snyggare skor an pa vuxenavdelningen och mina fotter ar sa sma att det inte spelar roll vilken avdelning jag koper ifran. 

Of course Thor wanted to try it out too. But, he has his own travel bag, this one is mine:)

We had a wonderful weekend. The celebration of America started, as you can see in previous post, with a huge brunch with french toast. In the afternoon we sat down on the grass outside our building (the Wagner park where they celebrate Swedish Midsummer every year). Very nice to sit there in the sun for a while.
At night we made hotdogs and then took T out for a walk. We stayed out for a long time. Together with all the families in this neighborhood we waited and waited for fireworks from New Jersey to come (actress Alyssa Milano was there with her family, starstrucked, hahah). When they finally started I picked up Thor, who by the way is very used to fireworks and other noises, and Jim had his arms around me. Perfect night!

Watching these fun creations in the sky holding my beautiful little puppy with the love of my life holding me, almost made me cry. A perfect moment like this has only been in my imagination. Like a lot of people I have been waiting for happiness, waiting for true love, waiting for good things to happen. I would be a fool not to appreciate all this every second of my life. I tell my husband every day how much he means to me, I try to let my family know that I care about them, I snuggle my puppy to make him feel safe and loved and I let my friends know that I’m there for them when they need me. For me, this is happiness. To love and feel loved, to give and receive. It took me long time to realize what’s important and it has been hard to let go of things and people that didn’t really make me happy. Life is a process and it changes all the time, but it’s our job to make the best we can and enjoy the journey.

Vi hade en underbar helg. Firandet av Amerika borjade, som ni kan se i tidigare inlagg, med en enorm brunch med french toast. Pa eftermiddagen sat vi pa graset utanfor var byggnad (the Wagner park dar de firar svensk midsommar varje ar). Valdigt trevligt att sitta dar i solen en stund.
Pa kvallen gjorde vi hotdogs och tog sen ut T pa en promenad. Vi stannade ut ett bra tag. Tillsammans med familjer i varat omrade vantade och vantade vi pa att fyrverkerier fran New Jersey skulle komma (skadespelaren Alyssa Milano var dar med sin familj, starstrucked, hahah). Nar det antligen borjade plockade jag upp Thor, som forresten ar valdigt van vid fyrverkerier och andra ljud, och Jim holl sina armar runt mig. Perfekt kvall!

Att se dessa roliga kreationer pa himlen med en vacker valp i min famn och mitt livs karlek som haller om mig, fick mig nastan att borja grata. Ett perfekt ogonblick som denna har bara funnits i min fantasi. Som manga andra har jag ocksa vantat pa lyckan, vantat pa true love, vantat pa att bra saker ska handa. Jag skulle vara en idiot om jag inte uppskattade detta varje sekund av mitt liv. Jag talar om for min man varje dag hur mycket han betyder for mig, jag forsoker visa min familj hur mycket jag bryr mig om dem, jag gosar med min valp for att han ska kanna sig trygg och alskad och jag later mina vanner veta att jag finns dar om de behover mig. For mig ar detta lycka. Att alska och bli alskad, att ge och ta emot. Det tog mig lang tid att inse vad som ar viktigt och det har varit svart att slappa det saker och personer som inte riktigt gjorde mig lycklig. Livet ar en process och det andras hela tiden, men varat jobb ar att gora det basta av det och njuta av resan. 

I had a fantastic birthday! During the day not much happened, but I did get a package with licorice from my father in law, so my lunch was saved, hahah. My husband came home early and we went to P.J Clarke’s and ate a wonderful dinner. Oysters, lobster roll and apple/rhubarb pie. We went home and I put on a beautiful dress and heels before we went to Times Square.
Jim had bought tickets for Phantom of the Opera. It was one thing that I had on my list when I came to NY 4,5 years ago, but it never happened. I grew up with musicals but the past few years I’ve lost interest. Phantom is the musical that has been on Broadway the longest and it feels like a must to see it. What did I think? The music was fantastic of course and the scenography was amazing, I understand why it is so popular. I don’t think the story is very good though, I have tried to to watched the movie maybe 5-6 times but I fall asleep every time, hahah. The musical was really worth seeing!
On Friday I went home to Emma and her little Levy. She served a wonderful birthday brunch. Everything was so good and I was extremely full all day after that. Always fun to spend time with Emma, and who says no to some baby snuggle:)

Jag hade en fantastisk fodelsedag! Under sjalva dagen hande inte sa mycket, men jag fick ett paket med lakrits fran father in law, sa min lunch var raddad, hahah. Min man kom hem tidigt och vi gick till P.J Clarke’s och at en riktigt god middag. Ostron, lobster roll och appel/rabarberpaj. Vi gick hem och jag tog pa mig en snygg klanning och klackar innan vi tog oss till Times Square.
Jim hade kopt biljetter till Phantom of the Opera. Det var en sak som jag hade pa min lista nar jag kom till NY for 4,5 ar sedan, men det har inte blivit av. Jag har vuxit upp med musikaler men pa de senaste aren har jag tappat intresset. Phantom ar den musikal som har varit pa Broadway langst och det kanns som ett maste att se den. Vad tyckte jag? Musiken var saklart fantastisk och scenografin var amazing, jag forstar varfor den ar sa popular. Jag tycker dock att storyn ar ratt trakig, har forsokt se filmen sakert 5-6 ganger men jag somnar varje gang, hahah. Musikalen var verkligen vard att se! 
Pa fredagen akte jag hem till Emma och hennes lille Levy. Hon dukade upp en underbar fodelsedags brunch. Allt var valdigt gott och jag var sa otroligt matt under resten av dagen. Alltid lika roligt att umgas med Emma, och vem sager nej till bebismys:)