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We are busy busy packing the apartment. This weekend I was thinking that we would be done on Monday. This morning I thought it would be a stressful Tuesday but when my friend came over to say goodbye and asked if we needed help I was sure of that we got it. Then Jim got the call from the movers saying they are coming on Saturday which gives him some time to pack on his own. I felt confident that we would be done with most stuff today. But then we had to print out papers and drive to the bank to get some papers notarized. But they needed two witnesses and there were no costumers. So we had to drive somewhere else. The lady was on the phone forever. After we finally got it signed we had to go to the post office and mail it. We lost so much time. And then home to feed Lily. When I finally got to start packing the “stations” I want to be done with by tomorrow I saw how much it actually was, and oh my, its overwhelming and a lot more than I expected. Why is it always way more stuff than you think hahah. And of course I started repacking what I’m bringing to Chicago into a bigger bag, cause I am going there for five days after all and then to the house without stuff for another 10 days or more, so we need things. But as long as I stay calm, work quickly and stay up all night I’ll get it all done🤪 hopefully🤞🏻

And I am so so so so so so so nervous about flying with Lily. I’ve written before about her every other day poop explosions, and well..she’s due for explosions tomorrow hahah. I have to prepare myself for a shitshow. But, what is the worst that can happen, that we get poop everywhere and I run out of energy, sounds messy but we’ll handle it:)

July 9, 2021

Lily is two months old! Time is going by too quickly!! And we are so busy these days with packing that I feel like I’m missing her growing up even though we are with her 24/7.
A lot has happened in these two months. Lily found her hands and they are in her mouth a lot, she pushes them in as far as she possibly can hahah. She is now ok with tummy time and seems curious, she lifts her head quite high when on floor but still prefers not to. But she can hold her head up and seem very strong when we hold her or during tummy time on top of our chests. She started to smile, giggle and “talk” during her first month and now it’s even more along with tons of movements. Last week she kept rolling over from back to the right side, but then she kinda stopped doing that, she definitely knows how to though. When she is hungry she cries out what sounds like “maaamaaa” which is very cute. She discovered that one toy in her gym plays music when she hits it so we are listening to the three songs in it over and over these days:) She seems to enjoy playing at the gym by herself which is good, it gives us time to pack, cook and eat. She sleeps 5-6 hours a night but wakeup time is around 4.30am which can be tough if I don’t fall back to sleep but it’s ok. Last night she slept for 7.5 hours and was giggling when I got her up for diaper change – normally she cries for food.

This morning, Lily and I swam to the pediatrics. It was insane out here, a complete flood outside the door. But we made it. I had her in the Solly wrap. In the waiting room I took her out of the wrap and she spit up her whole breakfast over my shoulder and I of course had forgot to bring a burp cloth, good thing I had a wrap (and long hair hahah). She now weighs 11.3 lbs and she is 22 3/4 inches, which is average for girls at two months. Someone must have measured wrong though either now or last time cause she was the same. In the report from the specialist a few weeks ago it said she was taller than average and she now fits in size “3 months”, but now she is average again I guess. Clothing sizes here are kinda stupid though, some newborn clothes are still too big and some 3 M is almost too small.
Lily got her 2 month vaccines today. She was kinda sleeping through our whole visit until she got the shots in her legs at the end. But once the nurses had left, I sang her some songs while putting her clothes back on and she was back to happy and sleepy again. It’s tough to be little and everything is new, I’m very proud of her.

I currently have maybe 8 projects around the apartment. Meaning, I make a mess somewhere, I go feed Lily and when I’m done I have forgotten what I did before so I make a new mess somewhere that ends with me feeding L again and so on. So, we are living in a giant mess right now hahah. However, most of the mess is just empty boxes within boxes within boxes. A lot of our stuff is actually already packed. I have packed half of all our clothes (which somehow is a lot!) and today we want to tackle the kitchen. Jim has carried out all the stuff we are donating to the car which is now full. 
One thing that I didn’t think of is that we can’t pack any food, plants and some product for like cleaning and such for the movers to take in the truck. So I have one box of food to give to our friends, one bag for Jim to take in the car and everything that we wont be able to eat this week has to sadly go into the trash. Really don’t know what to do about my plants, I want to keep them, but I don’t know if they’ll fit in the car with all the other stuff that has to be packed there. 

Last Friday was my birthday. Yay! I’m officially closer to 40 than 30 hahaha. 35 sounds pretty good to me though. I have everything that want and soon even more:) Can’t complain. 
I was talking to my parents for awhile before lunch which was very nice, they got to say hi to Lily too. It was supposed to rain all day but it ended up being a quite nice day, so Jim, Lily and I went out for lunch. Technically I didn’t count as ‘fully vaccinated’ until Wednesday this week (two weeks post my second shot) but we wanted to go out and enjoy a good meal. As you may know, CDC now says that everyone who is ‘fully vaccinated’ don’t have to wear masks and can go back to a normal life like it was before the pandemic, woohoo, finally! We went to Tigin for fish n’ chips. After our lunch we walked next door to a new cookie place. We got several fun cookies and they also gave us a free one since it was our first time there and I got another free one because it was my birthday, pretty sweet:)
In the evening, we watched a kids movie. Other than that, Lily was the center of our attention like every day. Very simple day and it was just perfect. 

We didn’t really celebrate 4th of July this year. No hotdogs or hamburgers. We need to finish as much food as possible so I made tons of pasta bolognese. In the evening we went for a walk and then up to the building rooftop to watch the sunset.
We heard lots of fireworks outside but the city had rescheduled the big ones til the next day due to rain that never came. So on the fifth, we walked outside to watch it and it was pretty disappointing, no big finale, it was actually kinda lame to be honest. Oh well. Next year we can celebrate it for real probably in our own house:)

Speaking of the house. We are slowly coming to understand that we are homeowners hahah. I’m getting more and more nervous about flying with Lily next week. Not worried about the actual flying and stuff, I know it will work out, but L tends to have days when there is one explosion after another which ruins her clothes, so I’m not really looking forward to go on a trip with her. I also don’t have a problem with feeding in public (haven’t done it yet though so I don’t really know I guess) but I know others have opinions about it and I really don’t feel like dealing with people. But I can’t bring too much stuff so breastfeeding is way better than bringing bottles with formula. We’ll see what I end up doing.

Ok, that’s it for now. I have to go back to packing.

June 29, 2021

We are busy bees over here. Last week when J wasn’t on the computer or phone with work he was on the computer researching and on the phone speaking to moving companies, pool companies, the builder of our house etc. plus took Thor out. Normally he helps out taking Lily when I need to go to the bathroom and stuff but last week was a busy one. And when I wasn’t feeding (which is all the time and for long sessions), I was cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, playing with Lily, playing with Thor, changing poop explosions, going for walks and everything else that needed to be done. And it will be like this for awhile now. But that is totally ok cause everything is leading up to our move.

Anyway, this is what has happened since my last update:

On Wednesday last week, the weather was nice and a bit cooler, so while Thor was at the spa, I took Lily in the stroller and went for an hour long walk around downtown. We even walked into Burlington (first time in a store with baby) to look for a midsummer dress for Lily but they had nothing fun.
In the afternoon I finally got my second vaccine shot. Yay! So now both baby and I are protected. I still feel good about my decision to get it. I also feel good about not getting it while I was still pregnant. For her to get antibodies through the milk seems like a better option to me. 

I was hoping to introduce Midsummer to Lily in the most Swedish way possible on Friday. I had imagined us being cute together – Lily in a cute summer dress and me in something that would fit me haha – and I pictured myself singing all the stupid Swedish songs, us sitting on the terrace enjoying good food and maybe even facetime with family in Sweden. But you can’t plan anything when you have a newborn hahah. First, Lily doesn’t own a dress that fits her. And then, L tends to poop only every other day, and when she does it’s a lot, we are talking massive explosions almost every time, plenty of clothes are ruined. And of course Midsummer was a day when we had to change to most diapers in one day since she was born. She did not want to nap more than five minutes at a time either. Luckily Jim didn’t have many phone calls that day so while he could be with her I got a moment to enjoy making flower head pieces for me and baby girl with flowers that J very kindly went out to buy in the morning. Lily was understandably fussy all day, so when we were out for a walk and I wanted to take a few cute pictures of us wearing them, she was just way too tired and did not want be a part of it and we’re not gonna force her. Back home, J tried to put her to sleep while I made a potato salad and set the table. She managed to fall asleep and we could enjoy a nice Midsummer meal together, until she pooped again hahah. Then we went for a longer walk, it was perfect temperature outside. At night we had coffee flavored ice cream while watching The Croods. It was a weird midsummer celebration but it was the best we could do and I’m happy with it. 

I made a regular sort of round garland for Lily and put flowers on a headband I had at home for myself At least one baby likes to pose for pictures:)Super simple Midsummer dinner this yearCold espressos and a non-alcoholic mojito for me with the ice cream

On Saturday afternoon we drove to Home Depot in Norwalk to go check out washers and dryers. The builder of our house will be there to have it installed which is very kind of him so Jim ordered them this weekend. Then we drove to our friends house in Rowayton, we are all fully vaccinated so felt ok. Lily hasn’t got her other vaccines yet so we had to keep her at a little distance from them and baby George, but oh my it was soooo nice to see them and to be able to hug them! We didn’t stay long but it was enough for now. Hoping to see Daniela again before we move.
On our way home we picked up pizza near their house. I didn’t get to eat until the pizza was cold though cause I had to feed Lily directly when we came home, but that’s life now hahah. It was still awesome. 

Jim and I were like the only people wearing a mask in the whole store. I guess I haven’t been around much, it was very weird to me. But I’m happy to see that almost everyone have got their vaccine (we are wearing them because we have a newborn).George was really curious about the baby. Next time he can come closerThe Bon Jovi pizza from Rowayton Pizza
My little angel had a long day

On Sunday we went for a walk that ended up including some fun stuff for Thor. Just like two years ago, the downtown park was full of promoting stands with dog brands/stores/vets etc. Thor had a blast. It was quite hot outside so I was worried that Lily would be too hot sleeping in the stroller and I tried to keep her out of the sun but it was tough so we didn’t stay as long as Thor would have liked. But he got to say hi to people and sniff some fluffy butts so I think he’s happy:)

In the afternoon we went through stuff in the closet. We got two full garbage bags of clothes and shoes to toss and I’m sure we have more (they are not in condition to donate). Packing clothes is actually what I dread the most. And I should get rid of more than I want to. We actually don’t have that much to pack, we already did most of it in March. Kitchen stuff is always annoying to pack but we are getting rid of most of it so shouldn’t be too bad. Jim packed our record player and the the records and when baby was napping I got a chance to pack some stuff upstairs.

Yesterday I took pictures of furniture that we want to sell. Jim put it up on Facebook market and got tons of responses in very short time. In the evening I went into hiding in the bedroom to feed Lily while Jim showed a woman our couch (she will pick it up next week) and then we waited and waited for people to come and pick up our patio furniture and the storage box (they came two hours later than planned and I had to just keep my two babies in the bedroom). The people who bought our bookcases are going to buy our TV and my office chair. Someone came to pick up our TV-unit today. We haven’t put up the dressers or our bar stools for sale yet but I’m sure they will be sold quickly.
I feel like we are well prepared for this move, or I hope we are. Now I’m just nervous to be flying with a newborn by myself but I’m sure it will be ok:) 

 Baby girl is napping now and Jim is at the dentist, so I’m trying to update here as quickly as possible. 

June 22, 2021

This is how my belly looks like now. My stomach is mushy, my skin is loose and I have stretch marks. This is me now. I look like this. I accept it. I grew a human in there and that’s pretty freaking awesome.
For 37 weeks I had no stretch marks. None. During the whole pregnancy I was waiting for it to pop up because I expected to get them (because it’s part genetic and part how your skin is and no amount of coconut oil can prevent them, it can only possibly help to reduce the damage). And then boom, closer to 38 weeks I got a few lines by my belly button and within one week the very front of my stomach was covered.
When I had entered second trimester I told my husband that I really don’t mind getting stretch marks, or lets call them beauty marks, but when I get them I hope that it wont be right in the front. With the size of my bump that was growing completely straight forward I thought for sure that I would get marks on the sides. Well, of course, where I least wanted, that’s the only place I ended up getting them.
I’m not gonna lie, I was a bit bummed at first, but then I reminded myself how cool it is to have created a tiny person who lived inside my body for 9 months. Women are awesome, our bodies are amazing and I am grateful to even have been pregnant. My beauty marks and the lose skin is a reminder that I created my daughter. This is how my belly looks like now.

To something else. I had my 6 week postpartum doctors appointment this morning. I saw the nurse for a few seconds to check my blood pressure and stuff and then when my doctor came into the room she started talking to me like if we had seen each other ten minutes earlier and had been in the middle of a conversation then haha. That’s what I like about her, she is so easy to be around. Then I gave her the gifts that I had brought. Jim bought three pink Calla Lily yesterday and two chocolate bars for her and two for the nurse that was there all night when I was in labor (my doctor will see her tomorrow at the hospital). Along with that I wrote a thank you card or each of them. My doctor has been there since the beginning in 2018 and I really do appreciate her support and encouragement through it all. The main nurse was also really amazing and she needs to be appreciated for her work. My doctor gave a few long hugs during my visit and told me to send Christmas cards with pictures of our Lily:) She’s just the sweetest, I’m very grateful to have had an amazing doctor like her through this journey.

Anyway. My abdomen still has a small gap, but my doctor seems to trust that with my dance background I know how to help my body to go back. My “downstairs” area hasn’t healed completely yet, I might have two more weeks of healing ahead, but that also doesn’t seem to be a problem for starting to work out. So, now I can slowly try to do some pilates, ballet, yoga and other dancing again which is nice. 

She told me that there’s really no ab muscles so I have to really start from scratch. Well of course there’s no muscles, I just had a human being living there taking up all he space and I couldn’t exactly do any ab workout:) It’s weird to know that I have to start from zero, but it’s also quite exciting in a way 😀

Another good news is that my hcg level is <1!
Because of my partial molar history I had to get a blood test done today to check my hcg (the test I did week after week and wasn’t cleared for 18 months). The result came in this afternoon and the number is a better one than I got exactly one year ago when I did my final test. Yay! I have been a bit worried that it would take a long time again, but it’s all good. I’m very happy.

Jim and Lily was waiting outside the clinic during my appointment

June 21, 2021

Happy International Yoga Day

Last week, I finally rolled out my yoga mat while baby was napping. Super gentle and slow asana practices. I did half an hour on Wednesday and 20 minutes on Thursday. My postpartum appointment is tomorrow so I haven’t got the green light yet so I had to be really careful to not overdo it. I have no idea how my abs are doing, they feel ok but until they have been checked by my doctor I have to take it easy. This postpartum journey is a slow one but I rather take it slow now than regret something later. 

My “free time” is overbooked by laundry, cooking, cleaning, maybe a shower and hopefully remember to brush my teeth twice a day and play with the pup….and I’m lucky to have a husband who works from home and helps out, I don’t know how other moms does it.
I don’t get many moments of asana or meditation practice these days but I’ll take what I can get. Even five minutes is enough. But the time I spend feeding my little love gives me time to practice the other parts of yoga and that helps to keep myself a bit grounded.
Yamas and Niyamas are the first two parts of yoga out of the 8 and they should be practiced daily. Asana, aka poses, are important for your body, but we need to also work on our minds and think about how we are around others in the world and how we care for ourselves. These two steps in yoga is not easy ones, that’s why we need to practice every day. 

If you can, right this second; step away from your computer or put your phone down, close your eyes and listen to your own breath for a couple of minutes. It will be worth it, I promise🥰