waiting by the phone

May 14, 2019

We came back from Paris on Sunday night. Guess if I have a lot of photos, haha. Even Jim have lots of photos on his phone from this trip (he usually never does). We had an amazing time! But any trip with Jim is amazing, it doesn’t matter where we are:)
Paris wasn’t exactly how I had imagined it though but it was still cool to go there. I expected the city to be in full bloom and have warmer weather for picnics in the parks in the month of May. But the parks barely had grass and the whole city is under construction, full of road work and scaffolding everywhere and more tourist than I have ever seen before. It was still cute and romantic, but that’s if you turn off to streets where noone else is. I guess movies and pictures romanticize this city so much more than it is.
I’m very happy that we went. J and I have a good mix of beach and bigger city vacations. The next trip is a road trip to Canada. 

This trip was supposed to be a nice getaway for us two after losing our baby, but as you know, I’m not done with the pregnancy yet. I barely slept this trip. Not knowing if I need treatment or not has been kinda stressful and I think my hormones are all over the place, I didn’t quite feel like myself this trip and poor Jim had to deal with me:( Right now I’m just sitting here at my desk in my office starring at my phone. Waiting for this phone call is no fun. Will I go in for chemo today or not? 
I’m actually not nervous for the treatment really, I’m more stressed about that I have an appointment at the Swedish Consulate in NYC on Thursday and I’m worried that I might have side effects from the chemo then. I can’t reschedule either since I don’t know if the treatment will be a one time thing or weekly, and I need a new passport before the old one expires. This makes me extremely nervous. But hopefully I won’t need treatment, and if I do I hopefully don’t have any side effects.