Showing all posts in Partial Molar Pregnancy

May 22, 2019

We had a doctors appointment yesterday afternoon. I didn’t receive any call or message during the day about my result from the blood test on Monday, so I just assumed it was good news. I expected the doctor to tell me my level had gone down to 0 after doing the treatment.
When she came in she seemed to be happy,..and she told me my level was 8. My level was 8 an hour before I got my treatment (although, they don’t wanna count that since it might differ if you get your blood drawn at different locations, so they count my blood test done at Quest last week which was 10). I was disappointed. Only 8? Chemo and it only went down 2.

But, the good news was that I don’t have to do treatment again this week. I have to do a blood test on Tuesday (cause Monday is a holiday) and if the level isn’t below 5 then, I have to do treatment next week again. So now of course we hope for lower than 5.

Once my level is below 5 (preferably 0), I don’t have to go in weekly anymore, yay, but monthly…for 6 months. Six Months!
She suggested that I start with birth control during this time cause I can absolutely not get pregnant. I said no. My body doesn’t like it plus I don’t wanna put shit into my body. 

Aaah! I have to be reminded about this failed pregnancy for another 6 months. I gave myself time to deal with feelings and grieve my baby after she died, and honestly I didn’t need that much time, I felt very ok with  it all pretty quickly and I wanted to move on. And then we found out the reason and I have now every week been reminded of that I’m not becoming a mother this year. Every time I get that needle in my arm I’m thinking to myself “my baby died”. And now I’m forced to think about it for the rest of this year whether I like to or not. 

I have been crying all day today. I just want to be done and move on. 

After the Dr appointment we went out to “celebrate” that I didn’t need treatment this week.
Not a full celebration yet, I guess that will be in six months…

May 15, 2019

My level went down one number, which is good, but since I have been around the same numbers for several weeks now, my doctor wanted me to do the treatment anyway. I called Jim to come home from work and together we went to the Emergency Room. Apparently they only have this treatment at the ER for some reason. 
We got our own room, I was told to put a gown on and then we sat there for an hour just waiting. Eventually I had Jim go out to ask if I could switch clothes and go to the bathroom. 
Eventually a doctor came in and checked me and told us that the standard is to do an ultrasound, a chest x-ray (because it can spread both in the uterus and in the lungs) and get the treatment all in this visit. Since I had already done an ultrasound two weeks ago I didn’t have to do that. They took some blood to check the hcg level, put an IV in my arm and then I had to do an x-ray of my chest. Another hour later they came back and told us that they found nothing in my x-ray so that good. The nurse gave me one shot of methotrexate in each thigh and then we were alone again for 45 minutes.
The insurance guy came in, and then a nurse to take my blood pressure and soon the main nurse came back with my HCG result. I was down another two numbers since Monday, yay, that’s good. I signed a paper and was discharged. 

My neck pain that I got on Monday was unbearable, but other than that it was pretty easy. It could be much worse. Many women have to go through so many harder things than myself, so I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. I don’t feel sorry for me. Yes, it is a scary thing to have to go through and yes I have been worried, but it could be worse. I have read other womens stories after having the same kind of pregnancy, women who had a hcg level up in the thousands and had to go almost a year with blood tests and do several treatments. I started in the low hundreds and I think my doctors expected me to be done a lot quicker. They have seemed surprised that I’m not done yet.
Our doctors and the hospital staff are all amazing and they are keeping a good eye on me. I couldn’t feel more cared for. I am so happy I chose this place (cause I did some research and carefully picked my doctor when I got pregnant instead of just go to the nearest place, it worked out wonderfully). 

I was never really worried about having to do the treatment, I was more nervous for the side effects. When my doctor told me about the treatment she basically only used the word chemotherapy and told me that I could throw up, get really dizzy along with some other minor issues for a couple of days after treatment..and this all scared me of course. When I asked the nurse yesterday she said I might be sore and maybe a little swollen around the area I got the shots but other than that I would most likely feel normal afterwards, the side effects is just like any medicine, like it says on the box that it can be side effects but probably not. Puh! Couldn’t they have told me that from the beginning and I would have been more calm about it? Ok, it’s only 9 am the day after now so I don’t know yet how my body will react, but it seems ok. 

I have to see my doctor and do another blood test next week. She’s hoping that this treatment would take me all the way down to 0 and I would be done next week, but the nurse yesterday said that since I have been around the same level going up and down, she thinks I might have to do another treatment, but I won’t know until after next blood test. 

April 26, 2019

So, what is going on these days? I called the doctors office on Thursday last week (April 18) to ask about my results of that weeks blood test at the quest diagnostics. Several hours later right before we were going out to eat dinner the nurse I’ve been in contact with these past weeks called me and said that my level had not changed since the previous week. I really thought it was my last Tuesday test, but apparently not. I had to come in and see a doctor on Friday morning.

Jim came with me. I had to give more blood. And then we met with a doctor we hadn’t met with before. She asked if we had any questions. Well, I had many but I basically just asked her to tell us about what was going on cause I don’t wanna trust what I’ve read online, cause a lot of the stuff on the internet isn’t necessarily true and you obviously can’t find information specific to your case. But she told us pretty much everything I had read on my own. It sounded much scarier than just reading about it and Jim, who I don’t think have really read anything, seemed more worried than myself. I have to admit, I had tears coming down my cheeks a few times over the Easter weekend, but it was more from being nervous, not scared, per se. 

I had an appointment at the Greenwich hospital on Monday (April 22) to do an ultrasound to see if there is anything left from January or if there was any new growth. They found nothing, yay!! But, the blood test came back with the same number as before:( This morning I had to walk over to quest for another blood test. Right now I’m just waiting for the results from that. Don’t know how quick they can be if results can come back the same day or if anyone will look at it during the weekend or if I have to wait til Monday…

If my level stays the same (or goes higher), then I need to go in for treatment right away. It’s a small version of chemotherapy. That word sounds scary, but I don’t think it will be that bad. It will be a one day thing and possibly a couple of days of side effects and then I’m hopefully ok. If my level doesn’t go down after that, then I have to continue to do blood tests and treatments on weekly basis until it’s down to 0. My level is very very low so I can’t image I have a lot left of this whole thing. If my level would have stopped at a much higher number then I would need a much bigger treatment and it would probably take months. My doctors doesn’t seem too worried and I’m not really worried about it either. Poor my dear family though who I have kept messaging with these days telling them what is going on when I barely know myself. They are good support. 

I am going to be fine. I’m not scared, just a little nervous for the side effects. Most of all I’m just annoyed that there is really nothing I can do about all this. I have no control over what is going on. But it is what it is. The good news is that this might just be a one time thing in my life and then I can go on and live a hopefully long life:)

March 12, 2019

Hahah, do I really need padding and two bandages?

This morning I walked in complete darkness over to the Quest Diagnostics. My appointment was at 6:30 am and I got in 15 minutes late. Surprised how many people were there that early. They couldn’t find my paperwork so I had to just sit there and wait and wait in the blood test chair. And then I was done in two seconds, I bought coffee next door and was still home before J went to work.

Hopefully had the last blood test done this morning. My HCG level was at 68 last week, so it should be negative by now. It’s annoying to go do all these blood tests, but I appreciate that they want to make sure I’m ok. I rather have extra blood taken than find out too late that there’s something wrong, or that there has been growth and I need surgery and then chemo (that’s the worst case scenario of course). Hoping to be be able to leave this failed pregnancy behind now.