Showing all posts in Brain Dump

One thing that I was thinking about when I was in the bathtub on Sunday, was how much waste of water it is to take one bath. I know people who takes a bath almost every day. Every day! That’s a lot of water. I googled and it says that on average a full bathtub requires 75 gallon of water (of course it depends of the size and if you fill it all the way up). A regular shower uses 10-50 (depending on for how long your shower is). Five minutes and 10 gallons seems a lot better for our world then 75 gallon to sit in your own filth for 30 minutes. 

I have never been big on taking showers, therefor not been interested in taking baths. Splashing around in the ocean is fine to me, but I hate to shower. It’s something I have to do, but if it was possible, I would never shower:) It’s boring, takes time and my hair never dries. It goes back to especially high school when I showered after gym class, after dance class in school and after dance class or teaching at night. Plus this was years when we all cared about how we looked so I showered in the morning as well. It could easily be 3-4 showers a day, unless I wanted to walk around stinky, which I eventually did in college because I was so sick of it. 1-2 showers a day is still too much but better than 3-4.

Anyway. I kept thinking how stupid this bath was while I was in the bathtub. Like I said, I know people who takes a bath at least a few times a week. And at the same time there are people on our beautiful planet who can’t even drink one glass of water per day. Ok, we can look at it that way when it comes to basically anything. “I hate to do home work for school” – some kids don’t even get access to education. “My stomach is too full, I’m gonna throw away the rest” – there are people who starve to death. And so on. 

…

I have nothing else to say. So, bye. 

Yesterday, I was in a really good mood and super motivated. An awesome day. I went to the gym. As I was warming up I felt the familiar crack in my right knee. I thought it was probably because I wasn’t warm yet so I started to warm up differently to not put any major pressure on the knees. It sort of worked. My legs are weak and I wanted to build some muscles but both knees now hurt so I decided to focus on arms and upper body instead. Couldn’t even stand or go in-out of whatever I was doing for my arms/back without my knees feeling like they would break. So frustrating. 
I got so angry at my legs. 

When I couldn’t do anything without feeling some sort of pain in my knees, I could feel my tears coming. I was alone at the gym but I still didn’t want to let tears out and I didn’t want to go out in lobby with a crying face. I just sat there on the floor trying to hold it back. Then I remembered that I could go the outer way (there’s a door directly to the outside in the gym). I could avoid people and go home. Once I had closed the door behind me and I was inside our apartment, I burst into tears. Major cry fest. Not necessarily due to pain, because it wasn’t that bad, but the fact that I really wanted to work out, feel my body move, do the things I love, work my muscles and get them fatigued. I love pushing myself, but half-assing things is just too boring to me. And even if I know there isn’t anything seriously wrong with my knees, that they can’t really break, I’m still scared and it pisses me off. 

I have decided that I want to find a rheumatologist that can tell me if I actually have arthritis and if so what kind. I tried to ask the doctor I went to this summer but he didn’t give me an answer or take it any further, so I’m definitely not going back to him. I hate going to doctors. I know that the rheumatologist will, just like all other doctors, prescribe me a bunch of pills and I refuse a life with pills. I’m so sick of that people try to fix everything with pills and unnecessary medicines. But I want to actually know if it is arthritis in my knees and possibly my feet.
Oh, f*ck this sucks!
(excuse my language)

One thing that I know I have to do is to cut out sugar completely. And there’s lots of other stuff I have to cut out as well from my diet. Yesterday when I searched on google what triggers arthritis, psoriasis and cold sores (cause I have that too), it seemed like I can’t eat basically anything. I might have to become one of those “raw-food-diet” people. Sigh.

It was just so much feelings bubbling up yesterday. My awesome day and my good mood was gone. But, a bad day doesn’t mean a bad week or a bad month or a bad life. It just means that I have to take this shit seriously. I wrote about it in the beginning of the summer, that I have to focus on eating more anti-inflammatory foods and choose the moves and exercises that fit me, but honestly, I’ve done a bad job and now my body is telling me to get my shit together.

We only have one body, at least in this current life, and we should take care of it. Feed it with nutritious food, exercise, exercise our brain and tell our bodies that we care and love it. I have to do a better job. I want a long life and I want to be able to experience as much as possible during my time here. I don’t want my stupid knees to limit me. 

Sorry for a long post, but I needed to get this out. This is part of me and I can’t ignore it any more. 

Thor today, so cute ♥ It’s hard to not share hundreds of photos of him every day:)

Hi guys! How are you? We are having really high temperatures outside today and you know me, I absolutely love it! I have been outside in shorts and a top all day. I had my sweater on when walking downtown for some errands around lunch time and it was too hot.
But I’m here to talk about the weather. 

Lately, I have seen lots of butterflies. White, big orange-black, yellow and small orange. Is the universe sending me signs? Or have they been there the whole time but I never looked for them, therefore I never saw them? Or is it just lots of butterflies flying around this year? 

I do believe in signs, mostly because it’s more fun than not to:) If it’s God, the universe, a potato head, Miss Piggy (whatever we want to call it), sending me signs non stop these days, then I just want to say thank you. What all the signs mean, I have no clue. So many signs I have gotten during the summer seems that I have interpreted it wrong, so now I’m trying to open up and not be so close minded about it. The biggest thing here is really to just say thank you, be grateful and trust that it will turn out good, that it will all make sense in the end:) 

It’s interesting to read about what butterflies mean. The Japanese believes that the white ones is the soul of the deceased, I really hope that’s not true cause I’ve seen many of them. But most of the things I read is that they represent transitions, change and new beginnings. I’m ok with that:) It’s been five years of housewifing and I’m tired of it. 

Hello! 
It’s Monday, first day of fall was on Saturday, it’s three months til Christmas and full moon is happening tonight.
Renewal.
Kids have started school. Summer is officially over. It’s time to make the best of the last few months before a new year. The fall is here to let us push hard for what we are working on this year or to let us start over if that’s what we are in need of. 

For me, the spring of 2018 was mostly about travel. Uhm,..that’s like the only thing I can remember about the spring right now, haha.
In the beginning of the summer I wrote down a summer bucket list for June 1st til September 30. We have done a lot of things on this list. A few weeks of rain every weekend wasn’t too fun since most of the listed things is outdoors, but I’m still very happy about all the boxes we got to cross off from the summer list. Coffee by the ocean, outdoor concert, go hiking, glamping, be on a boat, swim in the ocean, watch the sunrise, play lazer tag, enjoy Manhattan, try flying trapeze, travel, have a great time with sister and her guy to just name a few things. I had really hoped to go to Niagara Falls and stay a night in Canada but Jim hasn’t been too excited about that so eventually I had to cross that off my list. Same with a weekend in Paris. But I’m still hoping to go to a drive-in movie theater. We have one more week of September so fingers crossed the weather is ok next weekend:)
Leaving the summer feeling grateful for all the amazing things we’ve done. Going into fall feeling refreshed, excited and full of hopes.

First thing on my fall list is to get back to work out, dance, do yoga, meditate and a better diet. After two weeks of relaxed sister time, completely in vacation mood along with them, I’m ready to get back to everything..and more! My workouts and my diet hasn’t been on top for a few weeks even before Denice and John came to visit and I really feel it now. Sugar triggers arthritis and staying away from daily movements isn’t exactly the very best thing for my knees. My body is weak and fatigued. It will be tough to get back to it, but I really feel like there is shifts happening with this full moon tonight.
I feel inspired, motivated and hopeful!