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FOUR-LEAF CLOVER

Fanny Sura29 May, 2019Leave a comment

May 29, 2019

I was just outside for a walk with Thor. We walked behind our building like we do all the time cause it’s quiet and lots of trees. I’m not nervous about if I have to do treatment again, but I felt like maybe I need some sort of confirmation that everything will be ok. Sometimes I ask the “universe” (you can call it whatever you want) for a sign that everything is going to be fine and everything is working out just the way it is supposed to. Usually I ask to see chipmunks, cause they makes me so incredibly happy, they are so cute. But, back behind our building there is actually a lot of them so it wouldn’t be a clear sign.
I looked down on the grass where Thor was sniffing and I saw a bunch of clovers and I thought to myself “it would be cool to see a 4 clover one day – that would be a pretty clear sign”.

5 second later, I found one.

I have been looking and looking for a four-leaf clover my entire life, like so many others have, and I have never ever found one. Sometimes when I was a kid I would crawl around on the grass outside our apartment that my family lived in searching for that one special clover, but never found it.
Now I wanted a sign and I thought it would be cool to find a four-leaf clover…and there it was. I almost wanted to cry. Seriously, what are the odds of that happening? I am almost 33 years old and I have never found one until today after I asked for it.

This isn’t the first time I get a clear sign like that. I’m not sure what it means other than I feel like everything is going as planned and I’m on the right path in my life. I am so thankful for everything and that clover means a lot to me ♣

In Uncategorized

lack of energy

Fanny Sura29 May, 2019Leave a comment

May 29, 2019

Pictures you end up with when you ask an old French lady
who doesn’t speak a word of English to take a photo of you and your husband.
I ended up with 201 pictures when she thought she took 2. These were the best 2 hahaha 😀

Once again, I’m just sitting here waiting for a call or a message from my doctor. Will I go in for another treatment or not? Has my level gone down a little bit or completely? Or maybe not at all? My guess is that she will contact me in the afternoon today. Hoping for good news.

I was so tired yesterday, like really exhausted after 10 am. I was on the couch for a bit around lunchtime trying to nap, but couldn’t. So when J came home from work I was almost sleepwalking to the car to go to the grocery store. After 8 hours of sleep, I still woke up exhausted this morning and I can barely keep my eyes open right now. I also can hardly breathe and my body feels heavy so I wonder if I’m about to get sick. Another cold sore showed up on my nose yesterday (or, actually I’m not sure if it’s a cold sore or just a weird mosquito bite), so it could be that my immune system is off. I might take a hot shower, go for a walk with Thor and then try to nap after posting this. In case I have to go to the ER later today it could be good to be both clean and rested:)

In Stamford, USA

Memorial Day Weekend

Fanny Sura28 May, 2019Leave a comment

May 28, 2019

Good morning, hope you had a wonderful three-day-weekend!

On Saturday morning we took Thor with us to Mianus River Park and hiked for an hour. Lots of bugs out and we don’t have bug spray for T (please remember that most human bug sprays are toxic for dogs), so we kept it shorter. I don’t remember much of what else we did that day. I cleaned the apartment, we drove to get a gift at the Scandinavian store, I did laundry, J went to the gym, we ate steak for dinner and watched the movie “Glass” at night. That’s it.

On Sunday I went to Daniela’s baby shower.

Yesterday I woke up at 6, took Thor out, made coffee and then sat on the terrace for maybe three hours just reading my book. J and T joined me when they woke up. So nice that it’s finally summer and we can enjoy the outside! Sunday was the hottest day this year so far with a temperature above 86°F, a day when it doesn’t matter if you shower cause you’ll end up wet and sticky once you go outside again:)
After Jim was done at the gym we walked over to Tigin on Bedford to have lunch outside. They have a spicy bloody mary that I like and together with the fish tacos that I ordered it got pretty spicy. J went home and I continued to Target to buy black shorts to use under dresses but they didn’t have any, but I did end up with a cute pants-dress. When I had spent way too much time at Target I walked over to a Mexican place where J and Thor sat.
At night we watched the movie “Zodiac” from 2007. Not the greatest movie, it was long too and this true story had no real ending, they never solved it. But it was a little interesting I guess.

This morning I got up early to get my blood test done. Now I’m hoping my doctor will send me a message or call me tomorrow with good news. Fingers crossed!

In Uncategorized

George’s Baby Shower

Fanny Sura27 May, 2019Leave a comment

May 27, 2019

Today is Memorial Day here in America. Jim is off work. I took Thor out at 6:20 and then sat on our terrace with coffee for a couple of hours just reading my book. So nice that it’s finally summer and we can enjoy the outside more!

Yesterday was a really good and productive day. J and I went to have breakfast next door at 8am, then I scrubbed the bathroom, edited a Paris video, did some more laundry, showered and got ready and Jim drove me to Daniela’s Baby Shower.

It was so cute with light blue decor, little lambs and lots of food. Most of D’s guest were Brazilian (she’s also from Brazil) but there were a few of us who did not speak Portuguese as well. It was nice to go to a party where I didn’t actually know anyone other than the one inviting me:) Daniela was so cute too, her belly is getting bigger and baby George is doing just fine in there getting ready to join us this summer♥
When the shower was over, I tried to get an uber for myself but there was no reception out there. I tried to communicate with Jim who was with Gareth, D’s fiance, and I guess they ended up deciding that they would come pick us up. So out of nowhere the guys showed up at the house. We packed all their gifts in the car, help to clean up and D & G were nice to drop us off at home. J and I did nothing for the rest of the evening, just listened to music, took Thor for a walk and went to sleep.

I am so happy for my friend. I knew they were trying and then in January when we had decided to tell our friends our big news I kinda knew they would have something to tell us as well. We stood in front of each other in our apartment, with our men by our sides, announcing our pregnancies at the same time. She was one week ahead of me, she’s due in end of July and I was due in beginning of August. So crazy. I was just so happy to hear their news and I was so excited that we would experience this together. And then, as you know, shit happens. But my happiness for them hasn’t changed of course, I couldn’t be more excited for their baby boy to come whenever he is ready.

In Partial Molar Pregnancy

it could be worse

Fanny Sura23 May, 201922 May, 2019Leave a comment

May 23, 2019

Thor and I had a picnic in the park yesterday.
So peaceful and quiet….until some woman let her big dog off the leash right by us and Thor went bananas

I believe that everything happens for a reason. There better be a f*ing good reason for all this.

I feel like I’m in a tiny bathtub filled with water and the whole Grand Canyon got dumped on top of me.
There are two options now. I either stay and crawl around in the deep mud, but those who know me knows that I like things to be clean around me and mud seems pretty hard to keep clean. So the other option is to follow the only direction available. Up.

I’m not feeling sorry for myself, really, I’m not. It could be so much worse. I have so much to be grateful for.
I have an awesome husband, my dog is the cutest in the world, I have a home, food on the table and access to water. I have people around me for support, I have doctors and nurses who makes me feel cared for. I have an education and two legs that can dance me around the world. Everything is pretty awesome.

But getting the news that I have to deal with this for another six months isn’t exactly making me super happy. And that is ok. We can’t always be happy. Those who say that they are must be on drugs or something. Today is a very nice day and I feel amazing, but I’m allowed to feel a little sad as well. We all are. It’s from sadness or unhappy days that we can learn something from. We always get through it and that’s the lesson itself.

Like I said on the top of this post, I believe that everything happens for a reason. I’m excited to see what those reasons are.