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Sept 20

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September 20, 2019

Hello hello! I’ve just spent a few hours with Jim’s mom and stepdad. Their flights were delayed so much yesterday that I never went to see them then. So today I went to lunch with them at a Mexican place, walked around a little and then they waited for their hotels private shuttle who said they’d be there in 5 minutes but showed up 47 min later. Oh, but that’s just how traffic in Stamford is..anyway.. They are at the hotel now, J will pick them up after work in an hour or so, we gonna spend some time here I think maybe sit on our terrace (absolutely lovely summer weather here today) and then tonight we have a concert; Three Dog Night.

Nothing really exciting has happened this week. I have been working out (but been very careful with my right leg though so I wouldn’t end up with an inflammation I felt coming, muscles are bit angry at me these days), read books, done lots of laundry, cleaned stuff out of our storage plus really try to work on moving on from this years shitty story. My mind is upside down and I’m very sensitive these days, but it’s getting better.

Hope you’ll have an awesome weekend! I’m excited for concert tonight:)

14°c in the morning now, 26°c in the evening

just accept and let it be

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September 16, 2019

I don’t want to write more about this partial molar pregnancy story. It’s not fun for you to read, it’s not fun for me to write (and it’s definitely not fun to go through). But this is what my world has circled around this entire year. We are in the middle of September, I started this story in the end of January, I wish I was done. 

But this is (maybe…who knows) my last update for awhile. I wrote in a previous post that I surrender, I will give in, let it sort itself out and just trust that it will be ok. Right after that, Jim spoke to his brother who works at the Cleveland Clinic. He had spoken to his boss. Long story short, R sent a link to an antibodies test order at Quest, after some back and forth problems with my doctor I finally got to do this test last week. This test could help figure out if my hcg level is a phantom or not = basically if I can be done with blood tests or not. So when Jim told me all this a few weeks ago I forgot about surrendering and got all my hopes up again….only to find out today that I do not have that antibody so it can not affect my level. Well…that sucks. Back to mystery.

Positive news I heard today from my doctor though is that since my level has stayed the same and on such low level long enough I can now start to go in for monthly tests instead of weekly. Don’t know for how long but I guess I have to start with 12 months. I’ve read somewhere during all my google searches these months that hcg can stay in your body for months but also for years, so who knows when I’ll be done. 

So now I’m back to surrendering. There’s nothing I can do but to keep going in for monthly blood tests til whenever I end up on 0, if ever. Now all the worries of if it will develop into cancer or not is back, but I will try not to think about that. What I don’t know can’t hurt me.

To be honest, I don’t feel angry or frustrated about all this anymore, just sad. But I’ll work through it. It’s not the end of the world, I’m not dying and it could be so much worse. Have to be grateful for what I have and see what is positive in my life. 

eau de toilette

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September 14, 2019

Our toilet broke the other day and I had to wait for the guy to come fix it on Thursday. He left and the problem seemed to have gotten worse so I asked him to come back. He couldn’t fix it so he said he would order some part to exchange and come back Friday morning around 9-10am. He told me the toilet would still work but be slow. I didn’t want to try, if I really had to pee I could just go down to the lobby. Buuuut….eventually my body freaked out and that’s when I learned that it did not work🙈 Ugh! That is a story I’m gonna keep to myself.

Yesterday at 9:20 am, I took Thor for a long walk to stay out of the apartment. We walked over to Mill River Park. They were all in full business to set up for some country festival happening this weekend so we couldn’t enjoy the park as much. But we hung out in the dog park for awhile, Thor was sniffing every inch of that park and he had a good time. Then we walked to the stream and sat there listening to the water for awhile, very nice. It was a beautiful day yesterday, a bit colder than before which is good for T.

1.5 hour outside and they had still not called me, so I decided to walk back to the apartment building. The lobby person said she hadn’t even seen the maintenance people yet. Wtf? But I got her to call the guy and he came shortly after. I had to take Thor for another 40 minute walk. He was so tired he was almost sleep walking, haha. We met the guy once we were back again and he told me that there had been something stuck but he got it out, the bathroom had flooded a bit, he exchanged the part anyway since he had already ordered it but it should be all fine. So we walked upstairs and now we have a functional bathroom again (and I super cleaned it so if you wanna lick the floor it is safe to do so now hahah). I’m really confused though of what could have got stuck there, it’s not like we throw things in the toilet.

Ok, enough about bathroom problems haha. When J came home we went to a bar for oysters and drinks. Today we’ve been at the gym, J has been out with T for awhile now (he keeps sending me pictures of the two of them at a Mexican place, so cute). Our plan for the night is to go see the latest Quentin Tarantino movie. Have you seen it?

Have an awesome weekend!

shitty not shitty

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September 12, 2019

Good Morning! Beautiful days this week. Yesterday we had 30 degrees and today might be warmer. Oh, I love Septembers like this (I wish I was talking about December though haha but can’t get everything). 
I had lots of plans this week but so far everything is not going as planned. Like right now I’m trying to deal with a screaming Thor in my arms while the maintenance guy is fixing our toilet (this building is driving me crazy), that was not on my list of things to do. Just one of those weeks I guess. Doesn’t help that I have a massive headache and sore neck and back muscles. Oh well..you can always find ways to turn it around:) A shitty morning (or ‘not shitty’ in my case haha) can turn into a beautiful day, just switch your mind and how you see things. 

Walked passed this tree this morning and thought it had very interesting berries.
What tree is this, you know?