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The month of June

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June 30, 2020

Hi! Hope you are all doing great! I guess we can say that I took a little summer break🤪 The thing is, there is a lot of stuff going on in the Fanny World at the moment and I can’t write about any of it yet – or rather, I don’t want to tell you about it yet because nothing is for sure. For example, we have a trip coming up and that could be one of the most exciting trips ever,.. or it could turn into absolute nothing // sidenote; I am nervous about traveling during corona times and I do not encourage it. Jim and I have decided to not see anyone from now on til our trip and when we come back we will quarantine ourselves for at least 14 days // I will tell you all about it once we get closer to the trip and when we know more:)

I can still update you on some things we have done and what has happened these past weeks though.
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More places has opened up in Connecticut, for example the common areas in our building including the gym has opened but you have to keep 6 feet apart and only 5 people at the time at the gym. We have however still not been anywhere, the virus cases are soaring and we want to be careful. But the weather has been hot and amazing so we spend a lot of our time outside, on the terrace and going for walks. Thor’s new favorite thing is to go sit under the trees by the church behind our building. When I take him out around lunchtime it’s so hot and humid outside that he can’t walk very far and by those trees it’s actually usually quite breezy.
And speaking of Thor, he is still driving us nuts. His ears looks better but he keeps scratching them which causes irritation which causes more scratching etc. and we are trying our best to keep a positive association to when we need to put drops or clean his ears or when we have to put a cone on him so he doesn’t scratch, but it is hard. We have to keep an eye on him 24/7. All we want is for him to be ok♡
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We celebrated another Midsummer in the US. This was my 10th away from Sweden. This year I really planned on going to to Sweden, not only so that my husband could experience the real thing for the first time but also because I now have a little niece. But it is what it is. We ended up having a wonderful time in isolation. I went to the grocery store in the morning. Shelves were more stocked this time, still no cans, toilet paper or much meat but I could still get some nice things for our evening. I made a potato salad that we enjoyed with salmon, sill (herring) and greens. For dessert I made us espressos to enjoy with coffee flavored ice cream and strawberries. Can’t be much more of a Midsummer than that. Very very pleased with this years celebration!
Oh, and I went to get another blood test. It showed the same result as in May, which was different from my previous results but nothing to be concerned about. Since it has been a full year since I started to see my oncologist (and one year since my 2nd surgery) I had to go in for an exam but I’ll tell you more about that in a different post.
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Yesterday my friend Daniela and baby George came over. We went to have a little picnic under the trees by the church, at a social distance of course. They were the first two people I have seen in person since beginning of March (except my doctors and walking by people in the lobby of our building). I really wanted to hug her and snuggle her baby but because we have a trip next week I told her that we need to keep distance and be careful. It was so lovely to see her, I’ve missed her greatly. And Georgie has gotten so big♡ She gave me a birthday present and when I came home I found a fun birthday card from my mother in law in the mailbox. A perfect start of this birthday week (as you may know, I love birthdays, not just my own but everyone’s 😀 ). 
So cute, D included a picture of the three of us last time we saw each other in February:)
Jim’s mom sent this awesome pop-up unicorn-cake card. Love it!
We keep isolating ourselves, we wear our masks if we are near other people and we stay mostly at home. Other than what I just mentioned, nothing has really happened… or, well… I hate to keep the other things a little secret at the moment, but I will tell you, stay tuned:) 
The sky last night was absolute magical! It was like a painting,
it was far more interesting to look at than the tv-show we were watching hahah

🌸 Glad Midsommar 🌸

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10 years * Examen Dans och Cirkushogskolan

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The school changed name during our time there
(and I think it might have changed again since, but I’m not sure…)

June 11th, 2010, I graduated from The University of Dance and Circus.
It’s been 10 whole years since I got my Bachelor of Arts in Dance Pedagogy. Feels like yesterday but also an entire eternity ago. And I haven’t seen most of my classmates since then which is really sad. It would have been so nice to see them all today, but I live far away from them plus you know, there’s this virus thing going on in our world. But I hope they are all doing ok ♥

I have many many photos from various things from my time at the University. This week I have looked at so many of them, I have laughed a lot cause I remember what we did or what we said or what happened that day of the picture. I also watched the video from our last performance we did, a performance we put together only like a week before. I laughed and I cried. It was nice to sit down and remember my time with them. A small class of around 20 people; some leaving, some joining and some exchange students coming and going (including myself studying in Portugal for one semester) during our three years. They are all wonderful people, great teachers and creative artists.

After a ballet class in first year, there are four exchange students and one teacher in this pic, and it’s missing our folk dance classmatesWaiting for the subway to go to something called StreetStar
Class photo of fall 2008, our 2nd year
(most of us decided to shake our heads when the photo was taken,
there’s also a circus student intruder in this photo)
In year two we worked in groups and went on tour to perform and teach for a week.
Me and my group went to Falkenberg since 2 of us were born and raised there

In one of the smaller studios after school planning my classes

Our last performance was called En Pedagogisk ShuffleThe music was put on shuffle for every performance, so we didn’t know what order each dance number would be.  The ending applause could end up in the beginning, we added a human rock paper scissor segment a few times, we invited someone in the audience to a fika, the audience was invited to a karaoke of  the song 9 to 5, modern dance, flamenco, folk dance, ballet, dance with laptops, funny dance, serious dance…you name it, we had it all in this shuffle performance:) And there were no curtains so we changed clothes to each number on stage and we had lots of different costumes just for fun in between and sometimes we didn’t have time to change out of them. It was an awesome performance!
(Photo above by Per Bjorklund)
(3 performance photos were taken by my dad)The second year students organized a lovely graduation party for us dance and circus students.
They had made a hall of fame leading to the studio where we had dinner:)
This last photo is Graciette’s not mine, but I wanted to include it since it makes me so happy.
It’s from our graduation

brain exhaustion..

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June 8, 2020

How are you doing? Like for real, How are you doing today?
I’ve been feeling a little emotionally exhausted myself this weekend. Crisis upon crisis upon crisis. It’s just never ending. And in a way I don’t feel like I’m allowed to share anything online that doesn’t have anything to do with everything going on. It feels like I have the whole world on top of my shoulders and I have to have opinions on everything and it has to be the right opinions, whatever they are. On one hand I want to just shut down and ignore and live in my own little bubble, but then on the other hand I remind myself that I’m part of this crazy world, I too was born to live on this planet and I too have to be involved to make this a better place to be for all of us.
Do you know what I mean? Do you feel like that as well?

I don’t know about you but I’d like this damn pandemic to be over soon. We’ve been quarantined for a few months which I’m sure is hard for everyone, and now we have to deal with protesters that doesn’t keep their social distances and it wouldn’t surprise me if there will be another wave of virus going around after all this. And then I listen to the Swedish press conferences and it makes me angry. They talk like if the problem is  going to be over now when summer arrives and all they ever seem to care about is time. “When can we see our friends and family“? “When can we celebrate graduation“? “Will we be able to celebrate Midsummer“? “When can we travel again“? Time time time, like if they know. They have no control over this, it’s the virus that decides. Stop asking about when, just stay home and when can be sooner. People going to cafe’s and restaurants and taking their kids to playgrounds are basically telling the nurses and doctors to go F themselves,…until they need their help. 

Ok, I’m entering a negative space now and I don’t have the energy for that today. I woke up feeling very happy this morning and I’d like to continue that way. But it’s also so hard to not battle all these feelings and thoughts. I am sad and angry about everything going on, I’m sure a lot of people are. I’m also still trying to deal with my never ending PMP story. But I am also so happy and grateful about so many other things and I’m trying to direct my day towards that. It is ok to be angry, or sad, or have opinions about this or that. But we also need to take a moment to remind ourselves of what’s good. 

This morning I brought my breakfast and a book out to our terrace. A moment to myself. Start the day on a happy note. During this crazy time – 2020, the year we will remember forever – it is important to take time for self care, however that might look like for you. Go for a walk, watch a feel-good movie, enjoy a nice cup of coffee in the sun, meditate, snuggle a puppy or give your body an energized workout. Whatever helps keep you sane 😀 

Grocery Shopping

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June 4, 2020

We had kinda started to run out of food at home. We no longer had anything fun to eat. We were left with dinner options like spaghetti served with corn and oatmeal, rice served with shredded cheese and peanuts, chia pudding served with…all the items I just mentioned hahaha. No fruit, veggies or meat left, but we had pasta, one egg and tons of green tea bags. So, on Monday morning I made a decision to walk over to the grocery store closest to us. I had a looong list of things. 

We haven’t been to a grocery store since the beginning of March. We have had groceries delivered twice and some items shipped from other stores throughout these three months, but we haven’t actually been anywhere to pick out what we wanted for ourselves. It felt kinda weird to walk over to the grocery store on Monday. I decided to go there right after senior hour and I preferred to go on a weekday rather than during the weekend. That was a smart choice, barely anyone there. I believe I saw a note on the door saying that only 10 customers were allowed inside at a time, but I have no idea if this was followed, I simply came during a time when there weren’t much people anyway. 
Before I walked in I put a face mask on, the good professional kind that Jim’s sister had sent us (she’s a dentist) and then I wiped a shopping cart off with a wet wipe that I had brought. I thought about putting gloves on as well but it felt a little overkill plus noone else did. 

To my pleasant surprise there were tons of fruit and veggies and most of it looked really fresh. I grabbed apples, bananas, blueberries, lettuce, sweet potato and some other veggies, I felt like a little kid first time in a candy store. The first half of the store had full shelves, some random items had run out but I was very happy to see that there were so much to choose from – unlike when we ordered groceries from stores online when 2/3 was either out of stock or had to be substituted for some brand or version that we didn’t like (we even had to throw some items away because short expiration dates or it had already gone bad – like one almond milk package that almost exploded and smelled like sausage…that was nasty). And then half the store was empty, of course the toilet paper isle was empty and all the can food plus the cleaning supplies were all gone. 

The store had taped arrows and markings on the floor. Noone really followed this, because like I said, we weren’t that many in there, we had plenty of room to walk and grab what we needed and everyone kept their distances and were respectful to one another. It was almost a bit cozy in there, I couldn’t help but enjoy it a bit.

I ended up with a full shopping cart. I didn’t bring enough bags but since Jim was coming to pick me up and we have the big ikea bags in the car it didn’t matter much. I got everything on my long list except for like three items, that’s pretty good I think. Also to my surprise, I didn’t buy any candy (!!), I can’t even believe it myself hahaha. I did buy a box of oreos though and I got ice cream for Jimmy, but no candy (and I am Miss Candy Monster herself hahha). 

And of course, once we came home we wiped everything off with sanitizer wipes:) Now we have enough food to survive for awhile, I gladly continue to stay home to help getting this pandemic come to an end. We still have no meat at home – the only thing I bought was hotdogs which we ate on Tuesday – but I don’t mind that. J probably wants to eventually take a little trip to Costco for meat and fish, but I’m in no rush, the only craving I had was items to make a nice salad:) 

So happy we received these masks last week, easy to breathe and they fit well