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Hi! It’s Monday! Lately, Mondays have been my least favorite day of the week, but I used to love Mondays and I want that feeling back.
After weeks of grief, traveling, tourism, lots of eating, family time and not much of working out or being healthy, I feel like it’s time for a new start. It’s still summer in New York City, but we are all starting to prepare for the fall. My husband and I have a short vacation planned in the end of this month, possibly some huge changes coming within a month or two and other plans in the near future, but from today I will make some changes for myself.
My number one focus now is that I want my old dance body back. I want to feel strong and flexible again and have a healthy inside, cause after all this crappy food, my body doesn’t feel that awesome. I have taken a two year break from my professional dance life and it will take me some time to get back into it, but I’m willing to work hard for what I want. We only live once and we only have one body, we should take care of ourselves and make all dreams come true.

The headline reads “A last fika at grandmas”. It’s strange for me to write and then read it. On our visit to Sweden, my mom and aunt had decided we should have one last dinner all together in grandmas house the night before the funeral and right after the funeral we all went to the house to have a fika together. The dinner felt strange, in fact it was so strange that we ended up laughing a lot and told weird stories all night. Some of the strangeness was also that we had one family member who doesn’t speak Swedish and everybody was trying to figure out how to include him, haha. But we had a great time, even if we were missing one important person.
The fika was hard for me though. The funeral was incredibly beautiful and the priest did a very good job. From the stories my mom and aunt had told him, he had captured all the right things about grandma and the way he spoke about her was very nice. I didn’t cry much at the funeral, cause it really felt like a closure and also like a “I’ll see you again some time”. In the middle of it, it felt like she left the church and it got brighter in there. What was left was just my feelings of her being gone and the memories I have of her, but she was no longer present. I’m sure that I was the only one who felt it this way. Anyway… We went to grandmas house and when the others prepared stuff in the kitchen, it hit me. This would most likely be my very last time I visit this house. I walked into the outdoor storage and the smell in there took me back to my childhood when I ran in and out of there for different reasons. I started crying. When I walked back into the house and was gonna sit down for rhubarb pie, I tried my best to keep it together. Not because I didn’t want them to see me cry, I mean, we all just came from a funeral, but I saw that my two younger cousins, who took the funeral very hard, was actually laughing at that moment. I kept my tears away til I came back to New York.
Next time I go to Sweden, I probably can’t visit the house, and there will be no more fikas with grandma. This is a thought that keeps coming back. I will miss her house. And I miss my grandma ♥

They have started to put those police fences up in the neighborhood. They are most likely preparing for the 9/11. Just surprised they put fences right outside our entrance door, normally the news teams are by the dog park and the rest of everything is obviously closer to the memorial area. Maybe they have something different planned this year..?
I have so many different posts and an incredible amount of pictures to share with you guys. I just have to decide on what’s the best way to do this. But stay tuned, there will be posts popping up here within the nearest future 🙂 

De har borjat satta upp de dar polis staketen runt om i omradet. De forbereder ju mest troligt infor 9/11. Ar bara forvanad att de satt upp staket precis utanfor var ingang, normalt sett brukar nyhetsteamen hanga vid hundparken och resten av allt ar naturligtvis narmare minnes platsen. Kanske har de nagot annat planerat for i ar..?
Jag har sa mycket olika inlagg och helt otroligt mycket bilder att dela med er. Jag behover bara bestamma mig vilket som ar basta sattet att lagga upp allt. Men hall ogonen pa bloggen, det kommer dyka upp inlagg har den narmsta framtiden 🙂