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When I booked my ticket to go see Martha Graham Dance Company over a month ago, I decided that I wanted to go alone to this performance. I could have taken my husband or a friend, but I really wanted to go to this alone. This turned out to be an awesome decision. 

I was early, like always, but it was nice to walk in, sit down and watch the video they had playing on the stage. The ticket I bought was the cheaper one in the front rows. I’ve had these seats before and I think they are great and for half the price, why not? Sitting there waiting, not having to see other people come in since they were behind me and to just watch this dance video made me build up the excitement of it all even more. During the performance I could really enjoy every single movement. I don’t talk during performances of course, but when you go with someone else you still have this feeling that you’re with someone, you feel their presence and your experience is not only yours, your friend is having the same one only just maybe a different interpretation of it. Now I was alone and I could get sucked in to the experience much more. My feelings and thoughts felt stronger and they were all mine.

In the intermission I enjoyed staying in my seat sitting in silence. This was an active choice, cause in a city like NYC (or anywhere else for that matter) it’s easy to start talking to random strangers, but I really wanted to be quiet. I said a few words to the people that handle my ticket and showed me my seat right when I came, but that’s it. Sure, I can be quiet at home, but it’s not the same when you’re in public. Although, I had my phone with me and I did send some texts which is kind of speaking in silence. My phone was on airplane mode for the most part, but I still checked in on my husband and puppy which I now think is stupid, I should have just had my phone off the whole time.
After the performance, I quickly got up and walked out. I didn’t want to look around to see if I knew anyone in the audience. I’ve gone to performances alone before in Stockholm, but I always end up meeting other dancers that I know. That doesn’t mean that I would have actually met someone at this place, cause there are a lot of dancers and people interested in art in NYC, but in this case I didn’t want to, so I just left in a hurry. 

I don’t do things alone that often anymore. Living in Portugal or when I first came here I was doing stuff alone all the time. This city is not new to me anymore, there is not much to get excited about, so I’m hoping that when we move to Connecticut it will change again. Taking long walks not really knowing where you can end up, or visit new areas or cities, or, in this case, see a performance all by yourself, are things I really enjoy. And not looking on your phone the whole time is important, cause otherwise I feel like you’re still with other people through social media or in texts.
People are afraid to be alone, but I think it’s healthy to sometimes be without other people. You get to really feel, experience and enjoy things your way, not through someone else.