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Last day of 2017. 
Until a few years ago, I never thought about New Years as being a new start of things. I had ongoing dreams and goals I was working towards and I didn’t need a new year to tell me to push harder or to change anything. 
Half way through 2014, I decided to quit my job in the company and take a break. I thought it would last for a couple of months, but it’s been over 3 years now. A struggle for sure and instead of “finding myself” (omg, I hate that expression), I just got more confused. 
In the end of last year I had a strong will to let our move to Stamford be a kick-start for myself. I let my creative mind go free and I pictured things about our life in a new city. But, I really didn’t know anything about this place and things turned out to be very different and instead of pushing through and change the picture I had in mind, my motivation ran out. 
I wrote in the beginning of the year that I had a strong feeling that 2017 would be an awesome year, that I had the same strong feeling like I did going into 2013, but I think that was just more of a wish than a true feeling. I don’t have any specific feeling about 2018. But I do believe that the new year will bring some awesomeness…. because I’m gonna make it that way. 2017 was just whatever, and I want things to be more exciting than that.
So the whole thing of New Years being a new start of things, that’s something I think more about now than before. Cause I think I need that motivation.
How was your 2017? Do you have any wishes or New Years resolutions for 2018? 

I am back in Stamford since around midnight on Friday. I thought I would have had a lot of time to blog when I was in Sweden, but even if I wasn’t running around places, I was still so busy that I barely even started my computer. My plan was to update and follow up on the “meditation challenge”, but I really didn’t have time. I hope you still continued to take a moment to breath and relax your mind during this time though. Let me know in the comments how it’s going. I am really curious. 

So, what did I do in Sweden? Ever since I moved out of the apartment I shared with my ex in Stockholm and then moved to NYC, I have been feeling really bad about that I had to store all my boxes of crap in my parents house. So every time I come to Sweden, I go through them, hopefully get rid of stuff and bring some things so that there will be fewer boxes. The fact that my boxes is just making a mess in my parents home has been driving me nuts, so this time I also went out on the attic and went through all my boxes from when I was a kid (ya, I had a lot of boxes of books, things from school and toys as well). A big project that took all week when my family was at work during the day.

For some reason, my family is experts in saving stuff. For what reason? In a way I kinda wanted to just throw everything out and never look back, but I would probably regret that.
On my last day in Sweden, there was one giant bag of paper to throw away, one bag of clothes to get rid of, roughly two boxes of toys and things to donate, five empty boxes and a few things in my suitcase to bring back. And there are still plenty of boxes left. But some things I really do not want to get rid of. At least not this time. My folders of notes etc. from my time at the university is actually useful and important (I went through all that once before as well and left is only things that matters). There is one box of books that will eventually end up in my home in America. Boxes that ended up on the attic is full of fun things I’ve created or other fun stuff that I would love to have in my future house and toys of good quality for my future kid (if I have one). 

I feel bad for having my shit in their house, but also, it’s been hard to move across the world. If I just moved from one place to another in Sweden, I would have had all my crap with me, but now I have to squeeze it all in my suitcase when I travel back. And you never know if some of the things will even go through security. This time they opened my bag and stole one of the gingerbread cookie cutters (a set of three that I brought back now, the very last things I grabbed from my grandmas house last time I was in Sweden for her funeral). I don’t really care about the cookie cutter, I can buy a new one, but it’s part of one memory I have with my grandma. It doesn’t really matter, but it’s annoying. My bags get searched almost every time I travel between USA and Sweden. 

I’m curious, do you have boxes of old stuff? If you do, do you have it in your own home or do you happen to store it in your parents home?

My two favorite dolls when I was a kid
My very first camera, hahaha!
(I got my first real camera on my 6th birthday, so I must
have made this one when I was like 5 years old or something)