June 14, 2021
4 trimesters
Home
Oh well
June 10, 2021
One year ago, we found a house that we liked. After emails, phone calls and zoom walkthroughs, we decided to fly down to Florida to see it in person. We loved it but we knew it wouldn’t be easy to buy it, but it seemed like we could maybe buy it in the end of last summer. So, we decided to get pregnant so that we could stay with my awesome doctors and the awesome hospital here, spend a couple of months in the house during winter and then fully move there this summer.
Well, the process of buying this house has been complicated and we gave up a few times. With a growing bump and time running out, we have been looking and looking for other houses, home builders and lots everywhere in the country. Whenever we find something decent that we could consider, it is sold within days or even hours and no builders have time or even respond. Everyone’s buying homes right now, it’s crazy.
And then in March we got our hopes up for the house again. The auction was scheduled for today and we were all set and excited.
But.
Something came up on Wednesday and it now seem too risky. And then yesterday we were told that the auction has been rescheduled. What a joke. One thing after another. So, we are not going to buy it.
This basically means that we are homeless in July unless we buy a home we don’t want or end up renting again. At some point this month, Jim probably has to leave us and try to find somewhere for us to live.
When we talked about that it was time for us to have a baby back in 2018, I said that I don’t want to add a baby to our lives unless we have a home with a nursery somewhere where baby can hang out on a beach from day one and to swim in a pool looking at palm trees. I know that’s big wishes but that’s what I’ve always wanted and I’ve been very clear about that. Well, Lily arrived during a pandemic (which hasn’t been super fun to deal with for anyone), we don’t plan on buying a beach pass here in Stamford (because A; the beaches here suck and B; we are leaving soon) and we can’t find a home.
I know I wished for big things and I never expected it to be my husband to grant me those wishes, we are both in this marriage. But I could easily have waited to have a baby until things were looking better in the world and when we would know where to live. Yes, of course I love our little girl and wouldn’t change a thing, but to live in boxes for four months waiting to buy a really great house and then just… womp womp womp. We both went from being super excited to extremely stressed out in one day.
It was an emotional day yesterday. But today we have to try to be positive, optimistic and trust that everything will work out. Sure it sucks to have to spend a bunch of money on a house we don’t really want or rent a whatever place for who knows how long but so be it, we have no time to really think about this. We are moving on.
Wish us good luck!
Here’s two cute pictures to light up the mood:)
Lily – 1 Month Old
June 8, 2021
Lily is one month old today, hurray! We have had the pleasure to get to know this tiny human for a whole month already. I still can’t really believe I am someones parent. And it’s also hard to believe that I was pregnant for 9 months before this. That huge bump seems to only exist on pictures cause I don’t really remember it, hahah.
I honestly didn’t expect it to be this easy to have a baby. Sure, we’ve had tougher moments here and there but overall it’s way easier than I thought. Part why it feels easier could maybe be that Lily lets us sleep at night and that both my husband and I are home and we are a pretty great team. But we do know that things can change so we are incredibly grateful for this first month. We are so in love with Lily, she is a perfect addition to our little family ♥
4 weeks with our monkey
June 5, 2021
It’s been four weeks since our Lilliput joined us. Crazy! It does not feel like that long and in three days she will be one month old.
And it’s crazy to think that she lived in my belly not that long ago. The bump picture with the Sock Monkey was taken in March. It’s hard to even believe that she was in there kicking all day every day. Our little monkey ♥
I need to move my body
June 3, 2021
May 16th, 1 week 1 day postpartum
To go for walks is basically the only “workout” I’m doing these days. I have my postpartum checkup in three weeks and up until now I’ve been mostly just focusing on resting, going for walks and wearing belly bands to help with diastasis recti (which I don’t know if I have or not, that will be checked at the 6 week appointment, but my doctor knows that I’ve been a little worried about it so she told me to wear a band until I see her the next time).
I do miss moving my body around every day and I would like to do something easy, but the question is…when? Lily is like I’ve said before a pretty easy kid so far and we are so happy that she sleeps through the night which gives us a good night sleep every day. But, most days she doesn’t nap for more than 5-10 minutes here and there throughout the day unless we hold her. So if I’m not stuck breastfeeding, then I’m stuck with her sleeping in my arms. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally signed up for that Lily will take up most of my time and that cleaning the apartment, cooking and even showering will happen if I have a moment over these first weeks. But, it’s honestly hard to even imagine that I will ever have a moment over for my daily practice of yoga or for pilates and ballet.
Exercise, any kind, is so good for your overall wellbeing. Moving the body is like a happy pill, not only does your heart thank you but also your brain. So, when I’m stuck on the couch or in bed holding my child all day, the only thing I add to my heart and head is love which is wonderful of course but not enough. Us humans need to be active every day in order to function. We need muscle strength, balance, mobility in our joints, help to digest what we eat, blood pumping in and out to our heart and a mentally happy brain caused by endorphins from a workout.
So for now walking is ok, but I do need more than that in order to stay sane. Postpartum depression is a real thing and it can pop up at any point, and it can happen to anyone. By staying active, to go outside and enjoy the nature and to laugh together with your loved ones will help reducing the chances for someone to get PPD. I do have tougher moments where I let myself cry, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, that’s just part of being human. But I’m luckily nowhere near a PPD, as of now. But it can change so to avoid that I would like to do something nice for and with my body. I hope I can figure something out:)
Of course I also would like to lose the baby weight and go back to my “normal” body size again. My body will never look the same after this pregnancy, it’s been going through huge changes. But I never expected it to either. Nobody should get pregnant and expect things to be the same after having a baby. I don’t really care about what the scale says or how big my body is. My reasons for wanting to work out again and losing the baby weight is simply because 1) I need strength to be able to care for my child and 2) I don’t feel like throwing out all my clothes and buy new ones hahah. Plus I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to look a certain way. I like how my body feels and looks when I’m a bit more fit. But the looks is not what I’m striving for, it’s the strength and looking good will be a bonus.
So I have a few goals:
* Build my muscles back so that my joints don’t give up
* Get my now stiffer body to be more flexible again
* Lose 12 lbs, or possibly a little more
* Fit into my jeans
I wonder how long it will take me to reach these goals. I don’t want to stress about it, it will take the time it takes plus I am breastfeeding so to lose too much too fast or go on a diet (which I would never do, I even hate the word) is just not ideal. Moving my body and eat my greens will take me to the finish line of my goals:)