I took Jeanette’s kundalini yoga class on Monday and my guess is that it started something in my body, cause I’ve had a bad cold since the morning after that. The class was great, lots of heart openings which was what I needed after a few days of dealing with everything. When we are sad, stressed, going through traumas or grief, our bodies tend to get very tight in shoulders, neck and hips. I was so tight in every muscle and after that class I had “workout pain” everywhere, haha. All the meditation got me to release things I kept inside. I could have stayed there all day probably. Jeanette and I went for dinner after and it was very nice to just sit and talk for hours about nothing and everything.
Yesterday I went for lunch and playground time with Emma and Levy. I wasn’t feeling great and my energy was low, but it was very nice to get some fresh air in the sun and to catch up with a friend.
My mom and aunt face-timed me both on Tuesday and Wednesday. They were in grandmas house and it was actually kinda weird for me to see them walk around there, but I really appreciate that they let me be a part of it all even when I’m so far away from everybody. I always feel distant to everyone and when something like this happens it’s hard to feel like I’m a part of it.
My husband and I booked our flights to Sweden right when we heard about the funeral. After my trip to Sweden in April, it was the first time ever that I didn’t have a plan for when my next trip there would be. I was just hoping it wouldn’t be for this reason. But this is life and we have to accept it. I’m looking forward to see my family and relatives, I just wish it was for something more fun. It will be two very tough weeks until I get to say goodbye. I’m lucky to have my husband and friends by my side through it all.