May 17, 2021
May 9th, Greenwich Hospital
We are living in a baby bubble. The best bubble there is. So I’m obviously not spending much time on my computer these days. All I want is to care for my family and my own healing.
Lily is, so far, a dream. She eats, sleeps, pees and reads books. Not much pooping so we are constantly waiting for explosions to happen hahaha. She is just the cutest. Still can’t really believe she’s ours though cause I still don’t really see us in her. Everyone has so far said she mostly looks like me but I don’t see it. However, the first few days, whenever I looked at myself in the mirror I saw her in me. Very strange, like if she had given birth to me. I didn’t actually recognize myself, I just saw her face in mine hahah.
Thor has been doing so much better than we expected. The first night was tough for us all. He would react to all her noises and we barely got any sleep due to that. But since then he has been accepting more and more. Since like Wednesday, he has been sleeping in bed with us and doesn’t care much when I get up to change and feed her, which is only once the past few nights (J slept with Thor on the couch in the living room the first two nights so that Lily and I could get some sleep). He doesn’t really bark when I’m with her regardless if she cries or not, but he doesn’t seem ok with Jim holding her especially if she cries. But I’m confident that he’ll adjust soon enough.
We try to have him come close to her but he’s not that interested, all her sudden kicks and punches seems to scare him a little. And he is very sleepy, poor thing. We also of course try to play with him, take him for walks like normal and give him love and snuggles throughout the day, but of course Lily comes first these days, nothing we can really do about that.
And how do I feel? To be honest, I feel great and I did not expect that. Hubby and I talked about it before she was born that he has to check in with me every day and if he notice anything strange he has to help me. Postpartum depression is so very common and I have had some anxiety before in life so I honestly thought it would hit me. It’s only been one week since we came home from the hospital so things can change, but so far I have felt amazing. I think part of it is that I’m fortunate to have my husband working from home which allows me to take showers, eat, sleep, go to the bathroom (which takes forever every time since there’s 4000 steps to take for best healing) and deal with stuff around the apartment. I can not express enough how grateful I am for all that he does for me, Lily and Thor. Jim really is the best husband and father.
Another reason why I think I feel so good is thanks to my yoga practice. All the meditation and breathing techniques has really helped me through both the birth of my daughter and taking care of her since her arrival (I will tell you all about my birth story once I have more time). I am also almost 35 years old and have explored things and worked through stuff in my own life before I added a new one to our world, and I really think that helps. I hope I continue to feel this good. You never know, PPD can hit you at any point up to like a year or something.
I will post more pictures once there’s time to actually look at the one million photos I have so far haha. Now I have a few things to do before she wakes up for next feeding 😀 Bye.