August 27, 2019
Chilly but beautiful morning today
Left the apartment together with Jim this morning and went for a 45 minute walk. The earliest appointment I could get at Quest was 8:30 am (I prefer to schedule instead of just walk in cause sometimes you end up sitting there for an hour or so). It is getting pretty chilly out now. We had 32 degrees out almost every day last week and now we are in the lower 20’s. During the morning today is was only 16! I’m not ready for that yet. Thought last winter was going to be our last cold one but shit happened as you know and we’re staying for another cold winter. I’m trying to soak up every minute of sunshine and warmer temperatures:) Anyway. I did my blood test and went next door to buy a coffee. I’ve been on my computer since I got back home, haven’t done much actually though cause my laptop is like a slow motion grandpa and the other computer kinda died after moving upstairs.
The whole “surrender” thing has been working. One mind shift and boom, I feel like a new person. It’s a liberating feeling in my body and mind. Jim has told me several times over the past months to stop thinking about it, but it’s not easy since I get reminded a few times every week. One day of the week I have my blood test, then another day of waiting for my doctor to call with the result and now I’ve added acupuncture one day of the past three weeks, and the days in between I’ve been so stressed to figure out a new thing to try to get my level down. I have tried literally everything you could possibly think of plus things noone has ever thought of. Nothing has worked. So now when I’ve been surrendering to let it work itself out, I get a little bit of peace of mind. Feels like a huge mountain dropped off my shoulders. I’m not done yet and it does bother me and I do think about it a lot still, but that stress is gone. It’s hard to do nothing but I’m “working” on it at least and I do feel a change.