May 2, 2019
We have already entered the fifth month of the year. What happened, it was recently New Years and now it’s May?
So much has happened but yet so extremely little. Started the year pregnant and excited. Ended January with a dead baby and surgery. February was all about recovery, grief and finding out the reason why I miscarried. March and April was all about weekly blood tests and gaining 10 lbs (!!!) (I know this since I have to stand on the scale at the doctors). April was also about being active and trying to lose those 10 lbs and towards the end to see if I have cancer or not. And that’s about it for this year.
There’s some exciting things coming up this month though. But the number one thing is still to get my strong body back (ok, no, the number one thing is to make sure my body is free from the pregnancy, but I have no control over that). I’ve mentioned it before that I don’t care that much about the number on the scale or the size of my body, and I still mean that…But, I don’t wanna spend money on a new wardrobe hahah and I love the feeling of being strong and flexible, it makes me happy to be able to move around smoothly and not feel like a giant walrus. My body has always been my work, and if my body isn’t up for it, there is no work, simple as that.
So what can I do? One thing that many may not know is that stress can sometimes have you gain weight. It doesn’t matter if you eat healthy food and goes to the gym every day, if your stress level is up then you can still gain weight, or in other cases lose some, I have experienced both in my life. I don’t feel very stressed, but I know I am. This whole HCG blood testing thing, hearing about potential cancer, seeing everyone else getting pregnant and being afraid they will steal my baby name that I picked out when I was 13 (it’s a silly and selfish thought, but it’s true, it worries me), ya, I’m sure it all makes me stressed whether I feel it or not.
Meditation is the key here. I haven’t done much of it lately, but I need to set aside time for it every day. Taking a moment to yourself is just as important as eating dinner. If you are feeling stressed out, then sit down, close your eyes and just breathe for 5 minutes. If you get all worked up about something, stop what you are doing for a second and just inhale – exhale. Simple but yet still so hard.
There is still eight months left of this year. Lets make them awesome.