Written February 2, 2019, published in the end of this month
Very unflattering angle haha.
I look a lot happier than I was. However, I was in a pretty good mood considering..
> continued from the post on February 1:
Monday: I cried in the car the whole way home. Jim obviously skipped work and stayed home with me. We went to a drive in to get breakfast. My first real coffee in 2.5 months, I’ve only been drinking yucky decaf if any coffee or tea. I ate my tuna bagel, Jim ate his old fashion donut. And then we just sat there on the couch holding each other sipping coffee.
On Tuesday morning we had an appointment with our Dr. First I had a nurse take some blood, weigh me and check my blood pressure. And then the Dr came in and she hugged me for a really long time. We asked a bunch of questions and then the Dr told us a bunch of stuff. We asked for and she also suggested that we do some genetics testing on the baby and then maybe on us. It’s probably not gonna be covered by insurance but we don’t really care, we want to know everything. The Dr told us that we have to be at the Greenwich Hospital sometime around 9-9:30 am the following day and that I was scheduled for surgery at 11 am. She told me that I have to take a prescribed pill up my fiffi before bedtime and that I can not eat or drink anything past midnight.
Jim drove to work and I took an uber home. All I felt like doing was to go to the gym or the dance studio to work all emotions out but since both my Dr and I were afraid that my body might start the process of getting the baby out by itself, it seemed like a terrible idea to go work out. So, I watched crap on netflix and HBO with Thor next to me all day. We did go for a longer walk right when I came home though. The store next to our apartment didn’t have the pill I needed so I had to go to another store downtown.
And so came Wednesday. We were at the hospital around 9:20 ish. They took us to a private room, asked me to undress everything and put a huge and soft purple gown with opening to the back on and some cozy socks with non-slippery things both under and on top of the feet (strange), and then I was asked to crawl into bed. They took my blood pressure, asked me a bunch of questions and a nurse put an IV in my arm. After a few visits of nurses we were left alone for little over an hour. I was writing with my sister until my arm started to hurt from the IV. Closer to 11 am, I had my nurse come in and help me go to the bathroom. I could have done it by myself but for some reason I had to ask to go. After that, two nurses came in and put a hot blanket on me and then told Jim that he could either stay in the room and watch tv on the little screen or he could go out in lobby and grab himself a coffee. He walked out and the nurses rolled me in my bed after him. I felt like a really sick person. It’s very weird being rolled around seeing the nurses hanging in the hallway trying not to look at you when you’re all snuggled up in blankets and have a super sexy bathing cap on your head and IV in your arm. They rolled me to a waiting area. It looked like they could fit maybe 3 beds there, but I was the only one, thank god. I was left alone for about 5 minutes. Right in front of me was a glass window to an office room for the nurses and doctors. I could tell they were trying to not look at me and make me uncomfortable, but that almost made it more awkward.
I decided to take those minutes to close my eyes, hold my hands on my belly and say goodbye to Wiggly.
A nurse came and asked the same questions I had already answered someone else. In the end she asked me to tell her in my own words what I was there for. “eehh…I’m…” I didn’t know what to answer. I could tell her the medical words but I wasn’t sure I should and I didn’t know what other words to say. Eventually I just said “I’m getting my dead baby out”. She smiled in pity and then rolled my bed into the operation room. There were maybe 5 people in there with me. One nurse behind me told me right away that she is putting the anesthesia in, the other nurse told me I can’t fall asleep yet because I need to sit up and then scoot over to the operation bed. She tried to fix my over sized gown and then told me to lay down. A third nurse told me they were going to strap my arms…
…and then I woke up back in my private room.
// Shit, I need a break now. I’ll continue to write later //
When is this hot outfit ending up on the runway during fashion week?